For those of you who have read my sporadic blogs, you know that I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis a while back. In the beginning of February 2012, I will have gone relapse free for 2 years! Which is excellent!
My m.s doctor recommended that I should start on a drug called Copaxane to help slow down the progression of my m.s. Now this is a wonderful option, however, it involves the injection of needles everyday! If you know me, I HATE NEEDLES. They terrify me and I have had terrible experiences with them. Not only that, Copaxone is known for stinging during injection and 10-15 min after the injection. Every day the needle has to be injected into a different area, because a skin condition can develop where the fat is killed off and an indent starts to occur.
I know I am just ranting, and I dont want anyone to feel pity for me. My main purpose is to develop an awareness for this terrible disease. I think having an autoimmune disease is sad. What would make my body want to attack itself? I want people to understand this way of life.
I think I am most scared for the future. They say if a person doesnt take treatments for the RRMS (relapsing- remitting multiple sclerosis) then there is a 50% chance that by the age of 30 a person will need an aid to walk around. It terrifies me. I want to be able to run around the park with my kids. I wanna cook and clean and be able to use both my arms.
It is the little things we take for granted. What I wouldnt give to have a day of being healthy again; a day when I actually feel rested, and right. Its really hard for me to just rest. To say no to life's hectic schedual.
I have to give props to my now husband Derek! He is the biggest helper a girl could ever ask for in a husband. He holds me when I cry, and he always seems to find a way to lighten my spirit when everything feels hopeless. He brings me back to the importance of prayer. He is an incredible man. Thanks Derek. I probably need to tell you that more often. I appreciate you, more than you will ever know.
God is good. Even through all of this. I got to walk down the aisle on my wedding day! What a blessing that was! SO as I start this new life of taking needles and changing my routine, I want to ask you to pray for me, pray that I will have the strength that comes from God, to overcome the challenges ahead!
God bless you!
Megan Enns
Monday, September 12, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
This is how I feel...
Well a lot has changed since my last blog. I got engaged to the love of my life, I'm leaving to Ireland in a couple days with my future mother-in-law, and I have been searching for a job!
One thing I have noticed since I've been engaged is that everyone seems to look down on people who get married when they are so young. Things such as, how will you make enough, or you don't want to be tied down so early in life, and do you think you are mature enough? It's made me realize something very sad, our culture has become obsessed with money. If you don't make tons of money your marriage is practically doomed to fail. Now I realize that money is pretty much essential to live in today's culture, I'm not completely oblivious! But I do not think that it should be the reason to wait, especially knowing now that I have found the one. We will have enough for all we need, that's a blessing compared to people who have nothing. It doesn't matter what age you are. I have known people who have lots of money and have never found happiness, look at Tiger Woods, no amount of money could have salvaged his marriage, money is what helped contribute to his problems.
To address the second concern about not wanting to be tied down, who said I didn't want to be tied down? I want to share my life with a man who challenges me and makes me want to be a better person, a man who leads me to God and shows me what it means to treat a lady the right way.
Last one, when is a person ever done maturing? We learn through life's struggles, I know. I've been through a lot this past year with my health.
A book that has really been helping me is called "66 Love Letters" by Dr. Larry Crabb. He talks about how all of our lives are little stories within the bigger story. That yes we make a difference but in the end it isn't all about us. How humbling. All this time I have been begging God to heal me and throwing threats at Him if he didn't. But I have this disease for a reason. And if he doesn't heal me Ill just have to suck it up and wait for the day when I wont need this earthly body, but instead have a rockin body up in heaven. One that wont fail. So now that I am getting over myself and my problems, it has opened up a lot of doors for me to love others. To let go of my pride cause in the end its just not worth it. People get hurt when I decide my pride is more important than salvaging a relationship. Trust me I am FAR from being an expert, this is just something I have realized, something I wish I did a long time ago! God can fix any relationship, heal any hurt, so I know that in my marriage I will try as hard as I can to make God first, so that when the storms come, Derek and I will have a sturdy foundation.
To God be the glory forever and ever.
Megan
One thing I have noticed since I've been engaged is that everyone seems to look down on people who get married when they are so young. Things such as, how will you make enough, or you don't want to be tied down so early in life, and do you think you are mature enough? It's made me realize something very sad, our culture has become obsessed with money. If you don't make tons of money your marriage is practically doomed to fail. Now I realize that money is pretty much essential to live in today's culture, I'm not completely oblivious! But I do not think that it should be the reason to wait, especially knowing now that I have found the one. We will have enough for all we need, that's a blessing compared to people who have nothing. It doesn't matter what age you are. I have known people who have lots of money and have never found happiness, look at Tiger Woods, no amount of money could have salvaged his marriage, money is what helped contribute to his problems.
To address the second concern about not wanting to be tied down, who said I didn't want to be tied down? I want to share my life with a man who challenges me and makes me want to be a better person, a man who leads me to God and shows me what it means to treat a lady the right way.
Last one, when is a person ever done maturing? We learn through life's struggles, I know. I've been through a lot this past year with my health.
A book that has really been helping me is called "66 Love Letters" by Dr. Larry Crabb. He talks about how all of our lives are little stories within the bigger story. That yes we make a difference but in the end it isn't all about us. How humbling. All this time I have been begging God to heal me and throwing threats at Him if he didn't. But I have this disease for a reason. And if he doesn't heal me Ill just have to suck it up and wait for the day when I wont need this earthly body, but instead have a rockin body up in heaven. One that wont fail. So now that I am getting over myself and my problems, it has opened up a lot of doors for me to love others. To let go of my pride cause in the end its just not worth it. People get hurt when I decide my pride is more important than salvaging a relationship. Trust me I am FAR from being an expert, this is just something I have realized, something I wish I did a long time ago! God can fix any relationship, heal any hurt, so I know that in my marriage I will try as hard as I can to make God first, so that when the storms come, Derek and I will have a sturdy foundation.
To God be the glory forever and ever.
Megan
Monday, October 4, 2010
I'm growing up.....
I started college about a month back now...it still seems crazy to me that my grad dress is sitting in the basement getting dusty, and the pictures seem like some kind of dream. I didnt realize how big a shift I would be making from high school to college. The atmoshpere changes, you have to ask yourself the tough questions. You start to learn how to live on your own and more about responsibility.
Life seems to go by faster the older you get, the days, months, and years fly by. By next year today, my life will have radically changed. I will continue to grow as a person and as a woman.
A downfall to growing up...seeing just how awful this world really is. How people who claim to be Christians yet act everything but, oh except for going to church on Sundays. Going to Alberta Bible College I have realized that being a Christ follower is more than just Church on Sundays, its about a relationship with Christ Jesus. Its about saying what you mean, and meaning what you say. I mess up, I'm far from perfect. BUT I'm saved. Living the Christian life isnt easy, in fact its incredibly hard. But God didnt call us to an easy life, He wants to stretch us; make us uncomfortable because thats when we grow the most.
Life seems to go by faster the older you get, the days, months, and years fly by. By next year today, my life will have radically changed. I will continue to grow as a person and as a woman.
A downfall to growing up...seeing just how awful this world really is. How people who claim to be Christians yet act everything but, oh except for going to church on Sundays. Going to Alberta Bible College I have realized that being a Christ follower is more than just Church on Sundays, its about a relationship with Christ Jesus. Its about saying what you mean, and meaning what you say. I mess up, I'm far from perfect. BUT I'm saved. Living the Christian life isnt easy, in fact its incredibly hard. But God didnt call us to an easy life, He wants to stretch us; make us uncomfortable because thats when we grow the most.
Monday, July 26, 2010
LOVE with ALL of your HEART
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. Joseph Campbell
Before I had to deal with the possibility of having multiple sclerosis, I had a pretty awesome life planned out for myself. First of all to graduate, then travel the world, find that speacial someone and get married, find an exciting job while traveling and doing little excursions, then have a ton of kids. Once you've planned your life out nothing is more devestating than hearing your doctor tell you, "You could possibly have a disease that has no cure." I guess one of the first mistakes I made was looking up M.S. on the internet. It's scary what people with M.S. experience in their day to day lives. I was mad at God; like most people are when they realize that they never had control over their lives in the first place. I was also mad at other people because they would say, "I understand." Now from my point of view, unless you too have gone through something similiar...you dont. It's hard to see a person with perfect health understanding what it truely feels like to live this way. I'm not saying that I have a terrible life or that it will limit me from my dreams. It's just now I have to take a different approach to life. See I had it all wrong. I should have never planned my life to begin with. Who would have thought that by having M.S. my life could somehow be even more fullfilling than it would have been without it? I guess the only answer to that is, God. I don't believe that God gave me M.S. but I do believe He allowed it to come for some reason. (I have yet to understand this one.) I know it has already began to affect my life. I see every moment as precious, espeacially when I am healthy. God has shown me how lucky I am even with my sickness. He has shown me how to show compassion and grace.
So now I only have my dreams left: to travel, get married, and have kids. All the spaces in between I will let God fill. This means I will have to trust Him completely and listen to His voice. It also means I will have to pace myself. I get tired and sore....so more rest.....and I really dont like to rest.
Whatever you are going through, you have to believe that you will make it through. Nothing is impossible with Christ. Believe in the good, the righteous, the beautiful. Never take life, or people for granted. LOVE with ALL of your HEART.
Megs
Before I had to deal with the possibility of having multiple sclerosis, I had a pretty awesome life planned out for myself. First of all to graduate, then travel the world, find that speacial someone and get married, find an exciting job while traveling and doing little excursions, then have a ton of kids. Once you've planned your life out nothing is more devestating than hearing your doctor tell you, "You could possibly have a disease that has no cure." I guess one of the first mistakes I made was looking up M.S. on the internet. It's scary what people with M.S. experience in their day to day lives. I was mad at God; like most people are when they realize that they never had control over their lives in the first place. I was also mad at other people because they would say, "I understand." Now from my point of view, unless you too have gone through something similiar...you dont. It's hard to see a person with perfect health understanding what it truely feels like to live this way. I'm not saying that I have a terrible life or that it will limit me from my dreams. It's just now I have to take a different approach to life. See I had it all wrong. I should have never planned my life to begin with. Who would have thought that by having M.S. my life could somehow be even more fullfilling than it would have been without it? I guess the only answer to that is, God. I don't believe that God gave me M.S. but I do believe He allowed it to come for some reason. (I have yet to understand this one.) I know it has already began to affect my life. I see every moment as precious, espeacially when I am healthy. God has shown me how lucky I am even with my sickness. He has shown me how to show compassion and grace.
So now I only have my dreams left: to travel, get married, and have kids. All the spaces in between I will let God fill. This means I will have to trust Him completely and listen to His voice. It also means I will have to pace myself. I get tired and sore....so more rest.....and I really dont like to rest.
Whatever you are going through, you have to believe that you will make it through. Nothing is impossible with Christ. Believe in the good, the righteous, the beautiful. Never take life, or people for granted. LOVE with ALL of your HEART.
Megs
Thursday, July 22, 2010
My first love
Besides Jesus....and Derek....my first love is MUSIC. Everything and anything you want to say can be expressed through music. I've written a couple songs and its just a personal way to say whats on your heart. Music can move you in ways that other things rarely do. It's used in movies, commercials, and background music at functions. If you are going through something in your life, there is probably a song to corelate with it. There are also a lot of genres..I personally like some country, hip hop, indie, folk...well pretty much anything but screamo. But regardless of the genre a song has power. Not mystical power like woooo woooo woooo...more like a wow this song can make me cry, or remind me of my first crush. I know that music can affect my mood, it can make me sad, mad, happy, or even in love. I've been singing since I was a wee one. I love to sing. It's my God given talent and I hope I can use it to bless others. But if not thats ok too. At least the person I marry wont have to listen to an off pitch person singing all the time.
Megs
Megs
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
It's so sad when love is lost
This is a song by Kina Grannis! I absolutely love it. Although it makes me very sad because my boyfriend is on a trip and will be going on another trip for an even longer period of time. And I pray that our love wont die. But anyways this is a good song check out the link! The song starts at 1:20.
Verse 1: I heard it in your voice when your love died, on a telephone connection spinning miles and miles of wire. You said it was over and then cried and cried. You were gone before I said goodbye. And I dont like to think that it is true. That distance came between us like a knife and cut right through. When do we go back and let it all undo? The only one I ever loved was you.
Chorus: Would you stay just a little my love. Would you sway just a little my love? Cause the whole in the middle of my heart needs filling up. If you stay just a little thats enough.
Verse 2:It kills me as I lay awake at night, remembering the last kiss that we shared doesnt feel right. Is it impossible for me to win this fight? I'll give you a little longer in my life.
Corus: Would you stay just a little my love? Would you sway just a little my love? Cause the hole in the middle on my heart needs filling up. If you stay just a little, thats enough.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yocWxAA_OZs
Also these kind of songs prove to me that love is more than a feeling. Its a choice. You have to choose love sometimes. Espeacially when that speacial person smells like rotten cheese and may even possibly look like it! But more than that, I think it is such a tragedy when love is lost because of distance. With my boyfriend being gone I can see how people change their minds. But not for me. From my viewpoint our love is so strong that it doesnt matter what seperates us we have common ground. Christ. That and we and choosing love.
Megs
Verse 1: I heard it in your voice when your love died, on a telephone connection spinning miles and miles of wire. You said it was over and then cried and cried. You were gone before I said goodbye. And I dont like to think that it is true. That distance came between us like a knife and cut right through. When do we go back and let it all undo? The only one I ever loved was you.
Chorus: Would you stay just a little my love. Would you sway just a little my love? Cause the whole in the middle of my heart needs filling up. If you stay just a little thats enough.
Verse 2:It kills me as I lay awake at night, remembering the last kiss that we shared doesnt feel right. Is it impossible for me to win this fight? I'll give you a little longer in my life.
Corus: Would you stay just a little my love? Would you sway just a little my love? Cause the hole in the middle on my heart needs filling up. If you stay just a little, thats enough.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yocWxAA_OZs
Also these kind of songs prove to me that love is more than a feeling. Its a choice. You have to choose love sometimes. Espeacially when that speacial person smells like rotten cheese and may even possibly look like it! But more than that, I think it is such a tragedy when love is lost because of distance. With my boyfriend being gone I can see how people change their minds. But not for me. From my viewpoint our love is so strong that it doesnt matter what seperates us we have common ground. Christ. That and we and choosing love.
Megs
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