LOVE with ALL of your HEART

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. Joseph Campbell

Before I had to deal with the possibility of having multiple sclerosis, I had a pretty awesome life planned out for myself. First of all to graduate, then travel the world, find that speacial someone and get married, find an exciting job while traveling and doing little excursions, then have a ton of kids. Once you've planned your life out nothing is more devestating than hearing your doctor tell you, "You could possibly have a disease that has no cure." I guess one of the first mistakes I made was looking up M.S. on the internet. It's scary what people with M.S. experience in their day to day lives. I was mad at God; like most people are when they realize that they never had control over their lives in the first place. I was also mad at other people because they would say, "I understand." Now from my point of view, unless you too have gone through something similiar...you dont. It's hard to see a person with perfect health understanding what it truely feels like to live this way. I'm not saying that I have a terrible life or that it will limit me from my dreams. It's just now I have to take a different approach to life. See I had it all wrong. I should have never planned my life to begin with. Who would have thought that by having M.S. my life could somehow be even more fullfilling than it would have been without it? I guess the only answer to that is, God. I don't believe that God gave me M.S. but I do believe He allowed it to come for some reason. (I have yet to understand this one.) I know it has already began to affect my life. I see every moment as precious, espeacially when I am healthy. God has shown me how lucky I am even with my sickness. He has shown me how to show compassion and grace.

So now I only have my dreams left: to travel, get married, and have kids. All the spaces in between I will let God fill. This means I will have to trust Him completely and listen to His voice. It also means I will have to pace myself. I get tired and sore....so more rest.....and I really dont like to rest.

Whatever you are going through, you have to believe that you will make it through. Nothing is impossible with Christ. Believe in the good, the righteous, the beautiful. Never take life, or people for granted. LOVE with ALL of your HEART.

Megs