I started college about a month back now...it still seems crazy to me that my grad dress is sitting in the basement getting dusty, and the pictures seem like some kind of dream. I didnt realize how big a shift I would be making from high school to college. The atmoshpere changes, you have to ask yourself the tough questions. You start to learn how to live on your own and more about responsibility.
Life seems to go by faster the older you get, the days, months, and years fly by. By next year today, my life will have radically changed. I will continue to grow as a person and as a woman.
A downfall to growing up...seeing just how awful this world really is. How people who claim to be Christians yet act everything but, oh except for going to church on Sundays. Going to Alberta Bible College I have realized that being a Christ follower is more than just Church on Sundays, its about a relationship with Christ Jesus. Its about saying what you mean, and meaning what you say. I mess up, I'm far from perfect. BUT I'm saved. Living the Christian life isnt easy, in fact its incredibly hard. But God didnt call us to an easy life, He wants to stretch us; make us uncomfortable because thats when we grow the most.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
LOVE with ALL of your HEART
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. Joseph Campbell
Before I had to deal with the possibility of having multiple sclerosis, I had a pretty awesome life planned out for myself. First of all to graduate, then travel the world, find that speacial someone and get married, find an exciting job while traveling and doing little excursions, then have a ton of kids. Once you've planned your life out nothing is more devestating than hearing your doctor tell you, "You could possibly have a disease that has no cure." I guess one of the first mistakes I made was looking up M.S. on the internet. It's scary what people with M.S. experience in their day to day lives. I was mad at God; like most people are when they realize that they never had control over their lives in the first place. I was also mad at other people because they would say, "I understand." Now from my point of view, unless you too have gone through something similiar...you dont. It's hard to see a person with perfect health understanding what it truely feels like to live this way. I'm not saying that I have a terrible life or that it will limit me from my dreams. It's just now I have to take a different approach to life. See I had it all wrong. I should have never planned my life to begin with. Who would have thought that by having M.S. my life could somehow be even more fullfilling than it would have been without it? I guess the only answer to that is, God. I don't believe that God gave me M.S. but I do believe He allowed it to come for some reason. (I have yet to understand this one.) I know it has already began to affect my life. I see every moment as precious, espeacially when I am healthy. God has shown me how lucky I am even with my sickness. He has shown me how to show compassion and grace.
So now I only have my dreams left: to travel, get married, and have kids. All the spaces in between I will let God fill. This means I will have to trust Him completely and listen to His voice. It also means I will have to pace myself. I get tired and sore....so more rest.....and I really dont like to rest.
Whatever you are going through, you have to believe that you will make it through. Nothing is impossible with Christ. Believe in the good, the righteous, the beautiful. Never take life, or people for granted. LOVE with ALL of your HEART.
Megs
Before I had to deal with the possibility of having multiple sclerosis, I had a pretty awesome life planned out for myself. First of all to graduate, then travel the world, find that speacial someone and get married, find an exciting job while traveling and doing little excursions, then have a ton of kids. Once you've planned your life out nothing is more devestating than hearing your doctor tell you, "You could possibly have a disease that has no cure." I guess one of the first mistakes I made was looking up M.S. on the internet. It's scary what people with M.S. experience in their day to day lives. I was mad at God; like most people are when they realize that they never had control over their lives in the first place. I was also mad at other people because they would say, "I understand." Now from my point of view, unless you too have gone through something similiar...you dont. It's hard to see a person with perfect health understanding what it truely feels like to live this way. I'm not saying that I have a terrible life or that it will limit me from my dreams. It's just now I have to take a different approach to life. See I had it all wrong. I should have never planned my life to begin with. Who would have thought that by having M.S. my life could somehow be even more fullfilling than it would have been without it? I guess the only answer to that is, God. I don't believe that God gave me M.S. but I do believe He allowed it to come for some reason. (I have yet to understand this one.) I know it has already began to affect my life. I see every moment as precious, espeacially when I am healthy. God has shown me how lucky I am even with my sickness. He has shown me how to show compassion and grace.
So now I only have my dreams left: to travel, get married, and have kids. All the spaces in between I will let God fill. This means I will have to trust Him completely and listen to His voice. It also means I will have to pace myself. I get tired and sore....so more rest.....and I really dont like to rest.
Whatever you are going through, you have to believe that you will make it through. Nothing is impossible with Christ. Believe in the good, the righteous, the beautiful. Never take life, or people for granted. LOVE with ALL of your HEART.
Megs
Thursday, July 22, 2010
My first love
Besides Jesus....and Derek....my first love is MUSIC. Everything and anything you want to say can be expressed through music. I've written a couple songs and its just a personal way to say whats on your heart. Music can move you in ways that other things rarely do. It's used in movies, commercials, and background music at functions. If you are going through something in your life, there is probably a song to corelate with it. There are also a lot of genres..I personally like some country, hip hop, indie, folk...well pretty much anything but screamo. But regardless of the genre a song has power. Not mystical power like woooo woooo woooo...more like a wow this song can make me cry, or remind me of my first crush. I know that music can affect my mood, it can make me sad, mad, happy, or even in love. I've been singing since I was a wee one. I love to sing. It's my God given talent and I hope I can use it to bless others. But if not thats ok too. At least the person I marry wont have to listen to an off pitch person singing all the time.
Megs
Megs
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
It's so sad when love is lost
This is a song by Kina Grannis! I absolutely love it. Although it makes me very sad because my boyfriend is on a trip and will be going on another trip for an even longer period of time. And I pray that our love wont die. But anyways this is a good song check out the link! The song starts at 1:20.
Verse 1: I heard it in your voice when your love died, on a telephone connection spinning miles and miles of wire. You said it was over and then cried and cried. You were gone before I said goodbye. And I dont like to think that it is true. That distance came between us like a knife and cut right through. When do we go back and let it all undo? The only one I ever loved was you.
Chorus: Would you stay just a little my love. Would you sway just a little my love? Cause the whole in the middle of my heart needs filling up. If you stay just a little thats enough.
Verse 2:It kills me as I lay awake at night, remembering the last kiss that we shared doesnt feel right. Is it impossible for me to win this fight? I'll give you a little longer in my life.
Corus: Would you stay just a little my love? Would you sway just a little my love? Cause the hole in the middle on my heart needs filling up. If you stay just a little, thats enough.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yocWxAA_OZs
Also these kind of songs prove to me that love is more than a feeling. Its a choice. You have to choose love sometimes. Espeacially when that speacial person smells like rotten cheese and may even possibly look like it! But more than that, I think it is such a tragedy when love is lost because of distance. With my boyfriend being gone I can see how people change their minds. But not for me. From my viewpoint our love is so strong that it doesnt matter what seperates us we have common ground. Christ. That and we and choosing love.
Megs
Verse 1: I heard it in your voice when your love died, on a telephone connection spinning miles and miles of wire. You said it was over and then cried and cried. You were gone before I said goodbye. And I dont like to think that it is true. That distance came between us like a knife and cut right through. When do we go back and let it all undo? The only one I ever loved was you.
Chorus: Would you stay just a little my love. Would you sway just a little my love? Cause the whole in the middle of my heart needs filling up. If you stay just a little thats enough.
Verse 2:It kills me as I lay awake at night, remembering the last kiss that we shared doesnt feel right. Is it impossible for me to win this fight? I'll give you a little longer in my life.
Corus: Would you stay just a little my love? Would you sway just a little my love? Cause the hole in the middle on my heart needs filling up. If you stay just a little, thats enough.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yocWxAA_OZs
Also these kind of songs prove to me that love is more than a feeling. Its a choice. You have to choose love sometimes. Espeacially when that speacial person smells like rotten cheese and may even possibly look like it! But more than that, I think it is such a tragedy when love is lost because of distance. With my boyfriend being gone I can see how people change their minds. But not for me. From my viewpoint our love is so strong that it doesnt matter what seperates us we have common ground. Christ. That and we and choosing love.
Megs
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Needles, cotton, and blood
One thing I have realized about hospitals is that they are never empty. Today I went for one of my check ups....Now I will back up a bit, once I had found out that I had the potential to develop M.S, they (the doctors) suggested I try this trial drug they are studying to see if it will slow down M.S. It is a two year trial where they will continually watch and track how my body is coping. So today I went to the hospital for one of my check ups. I get my blood taken, random tests, and eye tests, finally i have an MRI. I dont know if anyone of you have had an MRI before...its like a huge tube that you go inside and it makes a lot of loud sounds. Strangely it feels as if my hair is being pulled out so it isnt the most plesant for me. (when I find out the records of this last MRI I may be diagnosed as having multiple sclerosis for sure.)
Today I witnessed a man handing out flyers for a new cancer research program. He tried with passion to get people to listen and you could tell that he really believed in finding a cure. I dont know if he has someone he loves who is suffering, or a friend, or a family member even. But I also saw as people constantly rejecting him before he even got a chance to talk about what he was doing. I felt bad for him. He was trying to do something about cancer, yet others couldnt give a moment of their time to care.
So all of this to say. While I was waiting and watching people in the hospital I saw a lot of sadness. As I walked people stared, questions in their eyes. Whats wrong with you? Why are you here? Arent you super young? I saw people with lifeless eyes and no hope in their souls. I found myself begin to smile. Not because I'm happy with their situation. But rather how lucky am I to have someone to brings complete peace....Jesus Christ. No matter how bad things get I always find him. I invision myself walking up to Jesus sitting on a rock in a garden, then I climb into His lap and he strokes all my aches away. I feel complete peace. Even though my life will be different forever. I hope that over the next two years at the hospital I can impact those around me, those who are lost and hurting. I pray I will be a light in the valley of the shadow of death.
Megs
Today I witnessed a man handing out flyers for a new cancer research program. He tried with passion to get people to listen and you could tell that he really believed in finding a cure. I dont know if he has someone he loves who is suffering, or a friend, or a family member even. But I also saw as people constantly rejecting him before he even got a chance to talk about what he was doing. I felt bad for him. He was trying to do something about cancer, yet others couldnt give a moment of their time to care.
So all of this to say. While I was waiting and watching people in the hospital I saw a lot of sadness. As I walked people stared, questions in their eyes. Whats wrong with you? Why are you here? Arent you super young? I saw people with lifeless eyes and no hope in their souls. I found myself begin to smile. Not because I'm happy with their situation. But rather how lucky am I to have someone to brings complete peace....Jesus Christ. No matter how bad things get I always find him. I invision myself walking up to Jesus sitting on a rock in a garden, then I climb into His lap and he strokes all my aches away. I feel complete peace. Even though my life will be different forever. I hope that over the next two years at the hospital I can impact those around me, those who are lost and hurting. I pray I will be a light in the valley of the shadow of death.
Megs
Monday, July 19, 2010
Gravity
I love this song soooo much! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEXhAMtbaec This is Sara Bareilles song called Gravity
In the jungle...
So this is my very first blog...ever. So heres a little about myself.... I want to travel the world someday. See every culture and experience everything that there is to see. I believe that God has put in my heart to serve people around the world. Espeacially the ones who can not fight for themselves, and to also help the orphans . I love children and I hope I can one day adopt kids. I have an amazing boyfriend...Derek. I love him a lot. He is my strength and my rock.
As of january 2010 I had my first "attack" and I only later found out it was an disease called multiple sclerosis. :S it's been a crazy ride so far but I've had lots of help from my friends, family, and Derek.
I love Jesus and I hope that through this blog I can keep in touch and tell people whats going on in my life no matter where I am or what I'm doing.
Megs
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